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Party Rules and FAQ
Before You Arrive
We provide condoms and lube.
Poppers are allowed. Feel free to bring them.
Illegal drugs are not permitted at the party.
We do not serve alcohol and do not permit you to BYOB (sorry).
Please clean up / shower before you arrive. If you're into bottoming, clean down / up there too. There are no showers; however, bathrooms are stocked with mouthwash, soap and plenty of paper towels or washcloths.
Clothes check is required to enter. No shirts, no pants at Paddles, complete nudity at the 38th Street location. Keep your shoes and socks on. If you wish to bring flip flops we can find a spot to store your shoes.
BAGS ARE NOT ALLOWED INSIDE THE PLAY SPACE. It doesn't matter if they're very small, you must keep anything you need with you such as your own brand of lube, condoms or poppers in your sock or in your hand.
You'll put your clothes on a hanger. We don't use plastic trash bags at this party, but you're welcome to bring your own.
The clothes check room is attended by the staff throughout the party. You should put your wallet, keys, cell phone, etc. in your pockets or bag before we hang your items, just as you would at a normal coat check. If you have a specific concern, ask us.
You must check any electronic devices capable of taking pictures or video. Photography is strictly forbidden at all times at the party address.
At the Party
Overly aggressive behavior towards one or more individuals ruins the party for other members and will not be tolerated. Alert the host if anyone is bothering you.
Please be careful not to pile onto another couple or group unless they seem interested in having you join them or are giving signals that they're interested. Although it is a sex party, not everyone is looking for a giant cluster fuck, though this definitely does happen. Use your best judgment.
Watersports are not allowed.
Soft drinks are complimentary at the 38th Street location and are available for $3 or $4 each at Paddles; please keep money on you at Paddles if you wish to purchase them.
Please be respectful of other guests and see one of the hosts if you have concerns.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Frequently Asked Questions
- How many guys attend each party?
Our parties average 40-60 guys on a weekday and 50-75 on a weekend day. Sometimes attendance exceeds averages, but rarely is it below the bottom end of the ranges provided.
- What kind of guys attend the party?
We have over 12,000 members so each party will have different guys in attendance, covering a wide range of physical types, sexual roles and ages -- from cubs / bear types in their late teens to mature daddies, skinny chasers to voluptuous superchubs. There should be guys there to suit every taste. We do not track and cannot offer any information concerning the appearance, sexual roles or interests of our members or the guys attending a specific party because every party is different. If you're interested in coming and having some fun, just go for it, and remember that your being there will make the party even better. Yes, as all of us reading this likely agree, more guys is usually better.
- Do you provide condoms and lube?
- What is your safe sex policy?
Here's the bottom line (and it's essentially the same as anywhere else): Condoms and lube are provided and most guys use them. We encourage you to know and understand the risks of sex without condoms and to protect yourself and your partner from the spread of infections. Ask the guy you're with what he's into and make an informed decision, just as you would in any other situation. We don't have the resources to enforce a condom-only policy and truly aren't able or interested in walking around with a flashlight checking in on groups of guys in the middle of a good time. Plus, with PreP the rules on condoms are changing. Yes, you might see some bare-backing but most of the guys practice safe sex at the party.
Twice a month we offer free HIV testing through Mount Sinai Gay Men's Outreach Project during the Sunday party. If you're on the mailing list, you'll see dates in our weekly e-mail, and you can get tested whether you pay to attend the party or not.
- What are the advantages of attending a sex party?
You get to look before you touch. So many pictures out there are misleading, at best, and some of us don't photograph well, so it's a plus for everyone.
You get to see some really hot stuff.
No sharing your phone number, e-mail, pictures, or address.
No hosting strangers in your house or going to a guy's house having no clue what to expect.
No spending hours online looking for a hook-up, sometimes without success. Just show up at the party time and find that we've done the work for you. While a sex party is not a sure thing, it's pretty close.
Meet guys that live far away whom you'd never hook-up with due to distance. We advertise in NY, NJ, CT and PA and our party regularly draws guys visiting town from all over the world.
Hooking up around other people adds an additional element of safety and arousal.
- Do you have pictures of the parties or other members?
- What time should I arrive?
We recommend that you get there within the first hour. The later you arrive, the more guys may have had their fun and left, and one of them might have turned out to be your favorite guy at the party. You want to be there during the party's peak / prime so arriving at the very beginning is the best way to ensure that that happens.
Thinking of coming later? We don't recommend arriving later than 3:30 on a Sunday, 1pm for the Tuesday and Thursday lunch parties, or 8pm for the Mon, Weds and Friday parties. If you think you might show up later to see if anything is going on be prepared to find the crowd getting smaller or the party wrapping up or over. Earlier is better, we can't stress it enough.
- What is the scene at the party? I'm a little nervous.
Many of our members have told us they've never been to a party like this and / or they feel nervous and our answer is always the same: the bear-cub-chub-chaser community is friendly and welcoming and our parties are always laid-back and attitude-free. Expect a large space of guys hanging around mostly or fully naked, quiet conversation, touching, sucking, fucking, and other types of play. Come with a little patience and ready to hang out for a while before something interesting presents itself to you. Most of what takes place is out in the open; however, it is possible to find quieter corners if you prefer a bit more seclusion. We do not have private rooms. If you're a first-timer, give it a try. You only live once, right?
Is there a sling?
Yes, at Paddles only.
- Can I come and get ****ed by 872 guys or live out my other fantasies?
Yes, that's what it's all about, right? A group environment can be a huge turn-on for many guys. It's sort of like being in a porno without the video evidence. If you have a fantasy, be outspoken about what you want and it will be more likely to happen. For example, if you want to be a total pig and do this or that to a couple or a bunch of guys, tell them (or everyone around you) that that's what you want and they, being men, will likely oblige. For your personal satisfaction and enjoyment during the party it's best to come without very specific expectations and a little flexibility.
- Can I just watch?
Sure, if you're not ready to take the plunge or you just get turned on by watching then by all means come check things out and see how you feel. There's no pressure to play.
- Do you screen attendees for age, physical appearance or other criteria?
No. Our parties proudly welcome all bears, daddies, cubs, chubs, superchubs, chasers, wolves, otters, pigs and any other guys who are 18 or older and fit to participate.
Nonetheless, it is a private party and in the interest of the enjoyment of the group we reserve to right to refuse entry to anyone for any reason; if we see that you are bothering other guests or disrupting the party we'll return your donation and politely ask you to leave. Please come showered and wear deodorant.
- Will I be attacked by bears / chubs / chasers?
Only if you want to be. As you would expect, you may not be into every guy and that works both ways. if you're unsure, ask permission. If someone is doing something you don't like just say, "I'm busy," ask him to stop or gently move his hand away.
- Is there anything to eat or drink at the party?
Some lights snacks and drinks are available in the bar area.